TL;DR: Timing is everything in dating and relationships. But when the timing is right and you’re hesitant to move forward, sometimes you need to take a leap of faith. When you take that leap, you’re taking back control of your love life.
When NASA sends spacecraft into Earth orbit or to another planet, the rocket launch is often weather-dependent, there can’t be other orbiting spacecraft blocking the rocket’s trajectory, and other planets in our solar system have to be in a certain position so spacecraft heading to the outer limits can use their gravity to pass by. (This is certainly better explained here.)
There are many other factors involved, but the point is that timing is everything, almost like your morning coffee or, for several people, Game of Thrones before the last season. They’re everything to those folks.
The same goes for dating and relationships. Timing matters when you’re deciding whether or not you’re ready to meet new people, enter a relationship, move in together, tie the knot, and have kids. And if you’re hesitating on any of these, sometimes you need to put fear and science aside to take a leap of faith. NASA has jumped into the unknown before, and so can you!
Rocket science aside, let’s review how timing worked between Phillip and me. (I can’t help but use us as an example!)
When Big Pip and I met:
- I was several months out of graduate school (graduate school gave me little time to maintain my last relationship)
- I had just turned 26, so I had passed the mid-20s mark, was over casual dating, and was itching for a relationship again
- The week prior, Phillip had decided to quit drinking and smoking weed, both of which had negatively affected his life and relationships
- He had gotten out of a relationship four months earlier and had already moved on
- There are pros and cons to this, but he had just temporarily moved back in with his parents (near my parents’ house, where I was living), closing the distance between us
Going with the NASA metaphor, it seemed like the stars (or planets, rather) aligned for us. And honestly, cynical Holly at the time thought timing, among other things, would never work in her favor like that, almost like a night at the casino.
But unless there’s something seriously “wrong” with you, I learned to never say “never” under many circumstances. That’s not to say you should keep trying your luck at the casino; instead, I’m saying that taking that leap of faith can help you take back control of your love life.
What in the whaaaa do I mean by that? Well, dating and relationships can be scary, like the movie IT or Get Out (okay, maybe not that bad for some people). Timing doesn’t always seem to be on your side, as much as the Rolling Stones promise. Rejection and breakups are possible, and each unsuccessful launch (again with the NASA metaphor) can add up to make you feel like you’re crumbling. So, oftentimes it feels safer to lock yourself in a room and avoid dating or being in a relationship at all.
But that’s exactly what’ll keep you from your romantic potential. Entrepreneurship-wise, I took a leap of faith in starting this business, and who knows what’ll come of it? While some days feel more impossible than others, making me feel like I’m crazy for even doing this, I still decide to show up because I want to know what could be. That’s where I’m taking control.
How can you take back control of your love life?
- Set the rules to weed out bad apples
- Put yourself out there regardless of what happens
- Tell the negative self-talk to STFU
- Assert yourself and speak your truth
- Stop comparing yourself to others and start owning your narrative
- Do all of this while respecting your male counterpart
What are other ways you can take back control of your love life? Comment below!
Speaking of timing, if you’re ready to take back control of your love life, then take the leap with me by filling out the form on this page. I’ll be in touch.